LIFE MOVES PRETTY FAST...

Running

I started running in 2003. I was emotionally exhausted from a boyfriend break-up and had just moved into a small one bedroom appartment on the Lower East Side in New York. As part of my post-break up get back my life I decided that I wanted to run. I'd been reasonably sporty in the past but had never really seen the point of running, though watching the New York marathon in November 2001 from the rooftop of my Williamsburg home I was almost moved to tears. So I took a decision, I started running. 

At first I was really dreadful, I think that I could probably get to about 15 minutes before I had to stop but every morning before work I would put on my knackered old traininers and go down to the river and run, each day a little bit further. Then suddenly I realised that I could run for half an hour, then an hour and then I entered a 10k race in Central Park. It was one of those beautiful Spring mornings that New York does so well and it all came together for me on that race and I did it in 46:05, a really good time. 

Then I joined found Toby Tanser the head coach of the New York Flyers and joined a running club. I did speedwork every Tuesday evening and through the coaching I recieved (and a lot of runs) I found that I was getting more and more addicted/enamored of running. I did my first marathon in Philadelphia in 2004 and did it in 3:40. I did New York the year after, not so good 4:05 but respectable. I did a ton of half marathons too. And then I moved back to London, got married, new job, had one kid and then a second and suddenly its been years since I ran seriously. 

Time, or rather lack of it, is always the convenient excuse that we all give when it comes to explaining why we aren't doing something. I think that I need to stop using time as an excuse. Eugene our youngest turns 2 next month - nights are fine; I have settled into a new role at work and actually it feels like the right time to re-start something that I love, running. 

Last weekend I signed up to do a 10k and I did it in 51:50, not amazing but given its a decade after my previous PB (Personal Best) I am really proud. So next year is my back to health/back to running year. I'm going to sign up to run New York again in the autumn and have mapped out the selection of races that I need to do to get me to time that I can be happy about. 

I have read that if you publically share a goal, it focuses you and ensures that you really try and do it. 

So here we go, in 2014 I will race: 1 x marathon, 3 x half marathons, 6 x 10k and 1 x 5k. 

Wish me luck...

Smart Time Working not Part Time Working!

I have been thinking about this a lot recently probably because of my current obsession, Lean In. 

Earlier this year I went to an event that Anna Rafferty (Penguin Digital MD) put on for Seth Godin's new book. One of the things that he said there really hit home, (and I paraphrase) "In this globalized economy there will always be somebody who is willing to do your job and work longer hours for less money. "  The point being that if you make it all about the hours that you work, you will always lose. In fact it is impossible to win. You have to make it about the impact that you have. not the hours that you work. 

Today I had lunch with another brilliant woman, Kathryn Parsons of Decoded fame (and Veuve Cliquot Young Businesswoman of the Year 2013) where we talked about a million different things but one of them was what happens when women have kids and potentially want to decrease the number of hours that they work a week. As I was talking to her it suddenly hit me how much I hate the term "part-time" to describe what I do. I do a four day week but like every other professional working mum that I know the focus and dedication that I have during those 4 days (and evenings) means that I achieve more in those 4 days than I ever used to in 5.

The descriptor "part-time" is just wrong.

Take Nicola Mendelsohn for example. Nicola has worked a 4 day week for the past 15 years and is now taking up an EMEA role at Facebook on a 4 day week and I bet there's absolutely nothing "part-time" about her approach, ambition and determination.

Maybe it's time for a new descriptor of those of us who work shorter weeks? "Compressed-Time"? " Condensed-Time"? Not sure what the right words are, but "part-time" is just plain wrong.

EDITED over-night:

I think that a 4 day week should be considered: "Smart-Time" working, not "Part-Time" working

6 months in - Eugene and Felix

One of those much cited cliches that you just don't know where the time went, but it's the absolute truth. Suddenly my baby Felix is a little boy and my sqiggling newborn is now a proper baby, I can't quite believe it. It's also amazing to see their little characters develop even at such at early age. Felix is, and always has been, enormously active,. He loves flirting, opening things, making stuff, he's always on the move and very focused. Eugene seems to be the classic second child - chilled, relaxed and mellow, happy to sit back and watch his older brother play the fool.

I'm also getting ready to go back to work, which has its ups and downs. It will be hard to leave the two little ones, but I believe that I am a better mother for having some time away from them and thinking about something other than children, makes for a more balanced extistence and more saner me I think. Happy mum, happy children.

Introducing baby Eugene

3 weeks old today and bloody hell, I had no idea how tough having a newborn and a toddler would be - it's brilliant, but tough tough tough.

And this is the lovely man himself, Eugene Hector Torode Joliot. The photograph capturing one of his rare non-crying, awake moments (there aren't many of them at the moment!)

Felix is interested and as the days go by seems to be growing into his role as the big brother, giving Eugene kisses and helping me with the (frequent) nappy changes.

The thing that amazes me more so this time around is just how little he is. Even in comparison to Felix, Eugene is just so small and delicate.

Now the next thing to start preparing is our first Christmas together as a family - exciting times.

(Photos by Carla Pyke, Custard Cream Photography)

 

Back on maternity leave

Today is my last day in the office for a while as baby number 2 is due in 2 weeks time. It's been a totally different pregnancy to the first so logic would say that Felix will have a little sister, but my gut feel is that it's going to be a baby boy and our house will descend into even more brilliant testosterone fuelled mayhem.

Hoping that Felix will be an excellent older brother. So far he seems a pretty happy and uncomplicated boy who appears to like babies, let's hope so!

We're still open to any baby name ideas - it's getting the balance between not too run of the mill and not too pretentious for words!

How to succeed in being a working mum (TED Women)

I found this video by Sheryl Sandberg at Ad Broad and it really resonated for obvious reasons.

I am now three weeks into being a working mum and despite loving my time on maternity it's actually great to be back at work. Great to be sharpening my brain and ordering my thinking, but also great to be able to read an article, send an email and think -  or just share a coffee and have a gossip with friends without a tiny hand constantly trying to pull at my leg or bash at the keyboard or in fact trying to eat the keyboard. There have been a few days when I have left the house and he's asleep and I get home and he's asleep and that's hard but I know for me at this moment in time I don't want to be a full-time mum, so getting that balance of baby and work is hugely important to me (though I certainly raise my hat to those women who do - hardest job in the world!) I am sure that on the days and the times that I am with Felix I am a better, more attentive mum and the times that I am at VCCP I work so much harder than I have ever done before as I really want/need to get home while the little one is awake.

So this video connected and as I hadn't seen it before thought it was a good one to share.

 

I think her insight into the way in which women and men operate in the workforce is spot on and her analysis of whether women can be successful and well-liked is fascinating (albeit depressing) Her advice about how to succeed at being a working mum is to be make sure that the job that you are in is rewarding, challenging, interesting before you even think about having kids otherwise it's pretty tough to go back and leave your little one! I think that she's right. Many years ago my mentor at WPP told me over a fish and chip lunch to remember that "no-one will care about your career as much as you do." That was great advice, tough but bang on. No-one does care as much as you do. Why should they? It's your job, your career, your life. Remembering that has always helped me think about the roles that I want to play at the places where I work.

Hope that this video is useful or interesting to women (and men) thinking about combining parenthood with a career.

Felix at 8 months

When I start back at VCCP in January normal service will resume on this blog but at the moment my days (and nights) are totally taken up with this little one who is developing and growing up so fast!

It has been amaing to watch him every day learning more, understanding more and doing more.

Who knows if this is just me projecting how I would like him to turn out but he seems a remarkably chilled baby happy to be passed from person to person, or sitting calmly playing next to me while I try and do some grown up work meetings. He has a great sense of fun, a wicked smile when he knows something is silly and is pleasure to hang out with.

Why I am still on maternity leave

A couple of people have commented that they were surprised that I was "still on maternity leave"

I have realised how lucky we are in the UK to have such family-friendly maternity policies when my French and American friends talk about going back to work at 12 weeks as if that was the norm.

Before I went off on maternity I did wonder whether I'd get bored and how soon I'd come running back to VCCP. I thought maybe 6 months at the most and then work would be too much of a draw.

The reality is a bit different.

Felix is 5 months now and has turned into this brilliantly funny little baby full of life, energy and smiles and although I am exhausted I can't imagine being back in the office full-time in 4 weeks (they do know this btw!)

Through Twitter I feel plugged in and connected to the advertising - digital - comms community that I am a part of so although motherhood is all consuming at the moment I don't feel cut off. This has to be a fairly new phenomena - the way that social platforms enable non-working mothers to stay in the loop professionally.

So I will be coming back to work but I am discussing a 4 day week and a change in my role so that there are less mental late nights (although I am aware that these are always going to exist in our industry) and meetings outside of London. Because as well as loving my son I also happen to love my job and the industry that I am lucky enough to be in so I am going to have to try and work out how to try and harmonise the two.

I think that I will probably attempt to come back to work around the 9 month mark. My next project is to find a loving french-speaking nanny to look after the little one.

Anyone have any ideas?

He's a charmer and a lot of fun to hang out with!

Almost time for a non baby related post...

But not quite!

16 week old Felix in the sunshine.

Promise that normal service will resume soon.

Trying to describe the first 3 months

It's hard to write about your newborn child without resorting to Hallmark-esque cliches. Before having Felix I would always roll my eyes slightly when parents would eulogize about their children saying things like "it's just the greatest thing in the world," "its indescribable" or "it's a totally different kind of feeling, a totally different kind of love." Then what do I go and do on our first night out without Felix except bore everyone senseless at the dinner table about our wonderful, extraordinary, beautiful baby boy.

If you are a parent, or a mum in particular, I wonder if any of these things that I love about my son ring true:

The way that he snuggles into the warmth of my neck as he falls asleep wrapped around me

His exhausted panting after a long feed

Sleeping like a frozen statue with his arms sticking out at odd angles

His gummy smile that lights up his entire face when I sing "Three Blind Mice"

The way that he kicks up his legs for me when I change his nappy

The intense stares he gives me with his huge dark eyes

If I had to pick one word to describe the first three months it would be this - AMAZED.

Amazed at this tiny creature who is so dependent and yet so remarkable. Amazed at the fact that somehow I seem to know what to do. Amazed that Francois and I managed to create something so lovely. 

Visting VCCP

Felix is now 8 weeks old and is turning into a real little baby boy from being a newborn - smiles, eyes focusing properly on people and good gurgles and coos. I took him into the agency last week to meet everyone. I think that you can judge from his smile that he was pleased with his first VCCP experience.

Life as a mum - Thoughts one month on

Felix turns one month today. 28 days ago at 12.08 this little person finally arrived. It's now hard to remember life without him.

We drove home from my mother's house yesterday afternoon through Spitalfields and looked out at the crowds of people milling in the bright sunshine, standing outside the pubs pints in hand nattering away with gangs of mates. With a newborn strapped into the car seat all this real life outside the car seemed oddly distant. Although newborns sleep a lot so theoretically its easy to be out and about with a baby, what we've found is that actually we wanted to put our little one into some kind of safe baby bubble for the first few weeks. At the start in between feeding and changing you just spend hours gazing at them, amazed that you actually created something so amazing. Their soft milky smell, their luminous eyes as they start to open and focus on the world and their incredible ability to unlock deep feelings of protection and love, it's really like nothing else.

It's also scary - babies cry, it's what they do but are they in pain? What can you do? Leave them to cry it out, pick them up and hug it out?  It's sometimes feels relentless as each day at the start is fairly identical and days merge into nights with no let-up.

But despite being pee-ed on, poo-ed on, vomited on and "sleeping" in small chunks of time I just look down at his tiny trusting face each morning and it's worth it, I wouldn't change any of it.

Introducing Felix Louis Arthur

Every parent thinks that their baby is the most adorable child in the world, but I don't just think it - I know it. He just melts my heart each time I look at him.

Please meet Felix Louis Arthur - born 12.08 Monday 8th March 2010

This is Felix meeting his mum...

And his dad...

And us together as a family leaving the hospital.

Happy days.